Last class - breasfeeding blues and mom drinks a beer

Ah, it was so great to sleep in til 8am this morning!

To top it off I went over to John Harvard's (a bar:) with half of our class after our last session - we got there around 4 - didn't leave til 7.30 - such a rare treat - so strange not to have to look at the time....

But in the middle of class today, I felt my breasts tingling and about to burst. It had been about 30 hours since I had last breastfed Kalian. Last time Chris took the kids out of town - to visit my parents - I borrowed a manual pump - it was a pain, tiring, and didn't really work. I kept meaning to send an e-mail out to mamas around here to borrow a pump, but it just never happened. I had just asked a question about this space shuttle challenge case we were discussing. I was questioning just focusing on the 10 minutes before the fateful decision to launch - that there was the whole context of NASA, the private contracter's motivations, etc. etc. The prof thought it was a good question but wanted to deal with it later - and kept bringing this fact up while directing his comments toward me. Meanwhile, I was sitting in class simultaneously pressing my arms over my breasts to stop the milk but also stimulating them at the same time wondering if I could actually let down if I went into the bathroom to self-express.

I didn't want to lose my breastmilk and knew that getting the milk out was key to that - ah, the ol' supply and demand model. I stopped pumping when Kalian was about 10 months because I just couldn't let down without her at my breast. Was this my golden opportunity to "pump" after so many hours? I looked around the room. Was there anyone here who had a baby I could borrow? Could I run over to health services and see if there was a pump there? Why didn't the K school and every workplace just have a pumping room where you just hooked up your own tubes? I didn't want to get up b/c the professor kept insinuating that he was going to get to my most important point at any minute. 70% of our grade is class participation and I didn't want to get up and miss this key interaction. Ah, f#$@ it - I valued being able to breastfeed my daughter over any Harvard grade, so I just got up and went into the bathroom.

Fortunately, they have these solo bathrooms with toilet and sink in one room. Of course, that day I decided to wear a dress with about 4 layers on top. I faced the sink and lifted up my dress and tried to roll the dress up so I'd have 2 hands free. I tried to use my hands to squeeze the milk out. It was working but I kept having to use the other hand and arm to keep my dress up. It got too frustrating so I finally took off all of my clothes. At this point I was really letting down and my milk was spraying all over the place. I decided to focus on one breast at a time. This was getting tiring. I don't know how guys are able to jerk off for very long. Speaking of which, however much I tried to direct the milk into the sink, it started getting all over the mirror, the soap dispenser, the fawcets and in every crevice in the bathroom. It would certainly look like some guy was getting off in here. I kept thinking that I really should get back to class. I had no idea how long I had been in here, but I assumed it was 5-10 minutes for each breast. Do I really need to empty all of them to maintain my milk supply? I finally decided to just finish as much as I could since I already started. Of course, I then had to clean up the enormous mess I had created. It was easier said than done. Have you ever cleaned up breastmilk off a mirror?

When I got back to class and sat down, the professor looked and me and said, "OK, then, let's all take a break. Be back in 20 minutes." Sigh.

CLASS JOURNAL
The challenger discussion today brought up a lot of conflicting thoughts. With all of the cases we have discussed, this to me was particularly difficult to separate out the context with the actual persuasion principles. Part of the challenge is knowing the outcome. Would the decisionmakers and persuaders have made different choices if they had considered the possibility of a fatal outcome rather than the "success" of the launch. Does hindsight cloud our analysis, in other words? I also find it so baffling to just look at the empirical evidence presented by the engineers. It doesn't seem as if it was even a question of deciding to present it differently - in terms of our persuasion principles - they just didn't gather the proper evidence. (i.e. the temps of the non-failures) or most stunning - the temperature of 40 maximum in their contract. In some ways, therefore, I find it more interesting to analyze this baffling question rather than the actual persuasion techniques - though it was fascinating, as Gary pointed out, that the engineers employed more emotional/pathos rather than rational/logos techniques.

To me, this is a great example of why these techniques are not necessarily, on the surface, innate. People with engineering or logos backgrounds are, indeed, able to employ some of the squishier persuasion principles. I think I put myself in the category of being able to do a so-so job incorporating both logos and pathos but what is weak, innately (?) on my end, is the actual delivery. That type of nuance is what feels not necessarily innate, but at least learned at a young age. I feel like this class has really helped me to learn these principles and I have already started to try them out - they definitely work - rather than my typical knee-jerk response. What I wonder is how to teach my kids these EQ and persuasion principles? In my son's preschool class, they encourage very mellow/low-pressure "public speaking" - show and tell of whatever random thing a kid wants to present that day - even if it's a piece of paper they found on the floor. I think it's this confidence - and practice - that will help me - and him - to develop these skills.

I think it's this confidence that shone through on the "finalists" today in the two-minute pitches. Nature or nurture - who knows? But it was clear - partially from conversations - that the three top "winners" had practiced those speeches repeatedly - not just for the class but for other outlets as well. That gives me hope for my presentation style. I have felt very creaky this year making public presentations - even just participating in class - after being out of the professional sphere for awhile as a work-at-home parent - my biggest challenge has been the KISS principle. I noticed in one class in particular last semester that I talk around a subject and it took me a long time to get to my main argument. I'm wondering if another persuasion principle to add - or maybe it's already encapsulated in another one - is a type of confidence - not pussyfootin' around and getting to the point - while it's part of KISS - it also has something to do with passion/belief/straighforwardness in an idea - that, quite honestly, women aren't always encouraged to do - and that I certainly was not encouraged to do as a child - I was encouraged to give the "right" answer - not argue my point - the "right" answer was really someone else's answer - I did great on spelling bees and public math competitions but formulating my own thoughts - at least on a speaking level - was not validated.