going to harvard is great for post-partem depression

Despite my sadness of not seeing my kids as much as they/I need - I am feeling so great these days (hmmm...interesting that I had to qualify that). This morning I went to the main Harvard library - for some reason when I'm there, especially today on such a glorious spring day, I finally felt smart. I haven't really felt that yet since I've been here. This may seem egotistical and arrogant, but I think I was struck by this self-confidence today in contrast to how I was feeling 1,2 or 3 years ago after having kids. It just wasn't enough for my identity and my self-worth. Who knows if it's me, society or hormones, but doing something very exciting and new and intellectually stimulating has been so great for me.

I somehow managed to get a lot of work done on another paper - I'm just cranking them out...inhale. exhale...and then this afternoon we had a mid-career transition/processing session (gotta love that public policy angle on academia) where two white guys who went through the program awhile ago lectured on how we can think about the transition. Ironically, both stayed at Harvard, so I'm not sure if they were such great examples - plus, there was that Moses emphasis that drove me crazy in my moralleadership class - but it was great to hear MarshallGanz speak and to hear the preacher-like leadership guru - RonHeifitz - that everyone here has been raving about - he had a few interesting points (including a parenting tip about how to separate your role from self - especially when kids act up and not to take it personally) but as Pamela said, if you've been through therapy it was nothing new - and it was interesting how he really emphasized this separation of role and self - I see them as much more integrated. Overall, though, it made me so sad that this is all ending. I'm feeling very sad.