mommying is tiring

phew - i LOVE being able to spend time with the kids this summer - and we are finally settling into our home (though that may change), but the kids are old enough that they can run in and out of the backyard on their own, and I can do projects here and there while taking breaks playing with them ( or is it the other way around), but it is soooo exhausting. my old mommy injuries are creeping back up, and it is mentally and physically so much harder being a mom than being at harvard!

but i feel so lucky having this insta-community to fit back into - it feels like i'm putting on a well-loved glove, just sliding back into so many amazing people's lives - everyone has been so open and generous. i know both chris and i appreciate our community here so much. without it i think mentally i'd have a tough time.

although when a good friend e-mailed me about getting together at a park recently i had a pang of fear of that mommyhood depression of spending way too much time at parks - i was just so bored and uninspired being a full-time mom, but this time, however stressful it is moving and juggling all of the logistics we have going on, it feels so much better as part of a larger life plan for me, rather than "my life is over" dread i had when i got pregnant with kalian.

and i was feeling guilty the other night actually watching tv for two hours - why was i "wasting" time - and then it hit me, i just spent the last year staying up til the wee hours every night studying and hanging out with the kids during any "free" time - and then that insane graduation/moving/family week that no wonder my body is telling me to chill out and let go a bit - yes, i should be reading up on sociology lit or coordinating liam's classes, etc., but honestly this feels like a vacation, however much a working vacation.