Turning 40 tomorrow

Last night, Chris and I went out on a bona fide date!

Of course, it wasn't without its challenges. First, finding a babysitter. Chris had tried to find a sitter. He had asked two friends that had watched the kids before, so that we wouldn't be introducing new people all of the time to the kids - and b/c we are cheap. Chris asked me for advice about the sitter. The uber busy student part of me didn't want to deal with it. It's my birthday, I thought, why should I have to deal with the logistics of going out? Of course, that's easier said than done since I have the propensity to try and "get involved" (I'm trying to avoid the word "control") in so many decisions - it's hard for me to just let go. So I asked a woman at the K school who had wanted to babysit for money. She's very sweet but had to check on another commitment. Meanwhile, a young 22yo student in my quant study group out of the blue on Friday e-mailed me and volunteered to watch the kids while we went out. Who cares if I barely know him and I think he wants to work for the state department? He was nice and free and free.

I spent the whole day working on this paper on corporate journalism for JC's class, and then I came home to prepare for our night out. I was in a slightly better mood than earlier in the day. Chris and I had been snapping at each other again, and I was so angry that I didn't even feel like going out with him - or at least that's what I said, though sometimes that's my way of expressing anger or frustration. Anyway, I b'fed Kalian, jumped in the shower, got slightly guzzied up and took off for the first part of our night-0xtravaganza. I went to this place a few blocks from our house called "Urban Oasis" - a hot tub spa place - cross between Kabuki and Osento - I got a massage from a very groovy woman. When I got out, I got a message to call Chris at home. Uh oh. Kalian didn't go down as easily as she usually does (i.e. put her jammies on and lay her in her crib). She'd been crying and upset for an hour. Chris was supposed to soak with me in one of their tubs. Sigh. I was feeling so light and free after the massage, that I had a lot more clarity than I think I usually do. I simply told him not to force it on her and come whenever he could. It would be ok.

I soaked by myself - it would have been much better with Chris, but it was still so nice and decadent to do it. They usually don't allow people to soak by themselves in the private rooms, but since I "had experience" in the Bay Area, they let me. Afterwards, I was having a nice chat with the owners when Chris finally came - quite harried. Poor guy.

We then walked over to a southern restaurant a few blocks away in Inman Square - Southern Magnolia. It was a dive, but with the super high prices I thought it must be really somethin' (ha). I hadn't really eaten all day and was drooling over the fried green tomatoes and catfish but was unfortunately disappointed. On top of everthing else, I was fighting off a cold, and Chris wasn't feeling too hot, either, so we could not even finish one glass of wine between the two of us. Oh, well, it was still fabulous to be out.

What to do after dinner? It was about 9.30. Originally, Chris had a great plan to walk over to a nearby B&B, "hang out" with me there and then let me stay and sleep in for the first time in forever while he went home to deal with the kids. I had gotten wind of this plan beforehand, was feeling pissy toward Chris, and had told him to cancel it. It was a fabulously sweet idea. I just thought it was so much money, but I really think it was that I have a hard time letting people take care of me.

On a whim, we walked into Improv Boston - a local comedy club and ended up going to the 10pm show. It was so much fun to do something different like that. Afterwards, we rushed home since we were a few minutes later than we had told KJ - he was very sweet. He said he had watched my doc but didn't offer any comments, so I'm curious what he really thought. I also wonder how he felt about doing the diaper and kid thing, though he was very accomodating.

I know he's a xn - thank god for KJ.