Starting off the new year with...

even more work! I tried so hard to finish that paper before my intensive class starts tomorrow. I will be in class from 9am til 6pm every day for two weeks. I look in the mirror holding Kalian - the only time I seem to have time to look in the mirror - and I swear I have aged 10 years this semester. My fantasy is that during the two weeks of break that I will do a healthy cleanse/fast, do yoga every day and take care of myself. Ok, everyone, hold me to it! The only good thing about having mastitis is that it got me into see a doctor, who was able to give me a referral for acpuncture - at least my tuition is going toward something good.

On that tuition note. Massive frustrato-rama-mama over the holidays. We have so many papers due - we, in terms of I'm sure other students do -- and there just weren't enough libraries open. I just can't sit at a cafe all day and actually get any work done. Very frustrated today trying to work at 1369, so I called Chris, who fortunately, had gone to the gym while my parents watched the kids (yahoo for grandparents), and he drove me to another cafe that I thought would be less crowded. No luck. Totally packed. Impossible to work at home with the kids - even when I can sneak into the bedroom to do a little work - no wireless Internet access in there, for some reason.

So is this blog just an outlet for me to complain? It feels that way. Even though I've jettisoned my xn upbringing, one thing I did learn was that at the end of the day in your prayers it's good to do four things. Hmmm...let's see if I can remember any of them - the one I'm thinking of is to be thankful for what you have - I'm sure asking for stuff is in there, as well as imploring forgiveness from the great big white haired mangod, and oh, something else as well. Not bad advice, really, if you take out the Godstuff. I like substituting Mother Nature lately, pagan that I am. Anyway, usually on New Year's, I try to take stock of my life and have some type of "goals" - I don't like the word resolution, for some reason.

So, I am thankful for my amazing husband who is so supportive, my adorable kids who keep me grounded in what's important - my friends in the Bay Area that I desperately miss, my parents who are always there for me and who are so sweet together, my sisters who are so great at staying connected with me on a heart level, my long-time friends in North Carolina, NY (hi RW), and all over the world....and my yoga practice that is barely noticeable but still grounding. I'm thankful for my body (it's so hard not to write caveats here) and overall health. I'm thankful for the people who inspire me politically. Most importantly, I'm thankful for Comedy Central from 11pm-midnight.

In the new year, I hope to meditate more, be more present with my kids (and Chris), not rush them or me as much, have more sex with Chris (and/or myself), continue to stay involved politically and to connect more with friends - hmmm...as I reflect, it's all about the pagan/feminist theology that I feel so aligned with - seeing goddess in relationship - and honoring that, among other verbs.