yoga wierdness

It's so strange not having my yoga community around me as I practice at the Backbay studio - yes, it's exactly the same Ashtanga/mysore practice, and the teacher is nice enough, but darnit, people just aren't very friendly. I'm sure some of it is that I'm only there 2-3x/month. Last week I tried to put myself out there - with a pregnant Ashtangi and a woman I adjusted in a 2nd series pose (common practice with this pose), and I got mostly a negative vibe. I really miss my community! I also don't have the energy to make myself vulnerable to people, given this backlash last week. It almost feels easier to just show up and do my practice and leave - just like my network analysis class (heh heh) - that people with "dense" social networks are able to create strong social bonds, but the risks exist of getting too close - duh, don't need to take a Harvard class to notice this - I think this is the challenge of only being here a year.

I also have a big ego problem when I'm on the map. I keep planning in my head what I'll say when the teacher or someone comments that I'm not doing the poses precisely enough - or if they say something "as if" I am new to the practice - I am really attached to other yogis knowing I have all of this experience/teacher/been to India, blah blah blah. Why? The pregnant Ashtangi is still doing 2nd series (at maybe 4-5 months?), and as I practiced near her today, I kept thinking, what is she going to think about my only doing primary series. So I rehearse these ridiculous conversations/explanations in my head - "Well, I had 3 major injuries post-partem, etc. etc. etc." Is it the practice that maintains this competitiveness or is it me or both? What about just accepting "where I'm at" - like I preached to all of my yoga students ad nauseum? And, of course, I hate/love looking in the mirror while I practice b/c I feel like I'm gaining weight and getting old and dumpy.

I know none of this is rational, but there it is - now how do I deal with body/self-esteem with my 20 month daughter?