i want yoga!

My body is deteriorating - I have these fantasies that this summer will yield more yoga, a trip to the dentist and healthier eating.

At least the weather is turning around to get more general outdoor exercise - we had a blast this week-end enjoying the weather, and I "only" worked half days this week-end, so I actually got to spend a fair amount of time with Chris and the kids. Saturday morning we ventured over to Cambridge Common because Liam has been hankerin' to play more baseball. Then, in the afternoon, we headed over to the Boston harbor where the Boston Sailing Club was having free sailboat rides - it was a glorious day, but as we waited over an hour to go on, it was a lot of work keeping the kids from going too close to the edge of the water - not too child friendly - they had free drinks, though, on a docked boat, but both Liam and I weren't too thrilled with the precariousness (Liam - fear; Me - nausea), so Liam and I ended up walking down to a park while Chris took Kalian on the boat. She had fun, apparently, and I got to keep my lunch inside.

It was nice to hang out with Liam on such a glorious day, but we've been having some tough times with him - wanting to hit and grab and generally be an aggressive kind o' kid - I worry that I am not providing enough of a positive/generous role model for him - and I'm concerned that so many of my interactions with him are about disciplining him, so we end up in this viscious cycle. I want to model non-violent gentle behavior, but when I find myself losing my temper with him quite a bit. Chris and I are trying to remember that his sensory stuff creates a lot of this - and it has seemed quite a bit intense lately - and it is really less of a behavioral issue, so the discipline in the long run doesn't seem to work. In the short run, he responds very well to consequences, but he still seems to have that very male agressive being that needs to get out. Sunday night, when I was giving him a bath, he was angry and didn't want his hair washed. I just sat there and let him have a tantrum (his turn, I guess since Kalian seems to be the king of tantrums lately) and splash water all over me. I was "experimenting" - in some ways it was helpful because I kept calm and when he was done I realized he was really mad about something I had done earlier, and we were able to talk about it, but I still am confused - I want so badly to raise a nice kid. How do I do that?

Anyway, after the park we headed over to Joel and Lani's for Joel's 40th birthday party - it was nice, but the kids stayed up late. Sunday morning, Liam woke up screaming about his eye - after about half hour of him being in pain, we took him to the Harvard Health Services - so much for my one morning - Sunday - of going to yoga class. He was fine, but not after reassuring him that he would not have blood drawn and to let the doctor put something in his eye to make sure everything was ok. Well, at least we got to go and consume Chris' favorite meal - brunch - at an amazing Cambridge kid friendly cafe - full moon cafe before Chris then took the kids to the beach while I hankered down to work on this Katrina analysis. Then, we went to a potluck dinner at the park with co-op families. Yahoo - time in the sun and with my family - here's to hoping that physical and emotional health will improve this summer with more time with them and to myself.