to be a mother or not

well, not really to be a mother - but the question of how much to come out as a mother continues to haunt me. Get this - A sweet second year grad student e-mailed me to say that she was my "buddy" - she sent me some great info and from our e-mail exchange it was my turn to share some personal info. Should I say I'm a mom or not? Should I say so in this giant fellowship proposal or not? Berkeley's dean or some other bigwig has recently been very publicly advertising the university's family friendly policies, yet I still hesitate. I'm not embarrassed - that's not it - I'm afraid of being defined by it - not really from others - well, partially, but also I'm afraid that this is how I will define myself. I feel like I'm being very cautious not to post anything on the gradstudent e-list or anything else yet. I think it's b/c I tend to jump in with advice and a know-it-all attitude - I also tend to interrupt people in conversations, so I'm trying to mellow myself out on that front. Does all of this have anything to do with motherhood? It's part of the package, but how do I prevent it from being the whole package?