blitzkrieg

I feel as if it's all about to rain down. From now until mid-January - huge projects due, exam (only one-quant), and these darned applications - actually, the application part wouldn't be so bad if I just went ahead and made a decision!

I just had an incredibly heartbraking session with Liam at his OT this morning. It brought me to tears. She was evaluating him - hmm...I first wrote the word "test" because that's what it was and he could totally feel the pressure. She had him try to draw lines, manipulate objects, etc. for fine motor pre-writing skills, as well as gross motor - bottom line was that except for stacking blocks - he couldn't really do any of it. He repeatedly would say, "I can't do it." At one point, while trying to unbotton something, he said, "I can't do anything right." This from the mouth of a three year old! Ok, he's almost four, but it crushed me. This OT has the theories down right overall what he needs but the atmosphere is too stressful for him. She just isn't playful enough with him. I'm really worried about it.

It basically made me think that what I really need to do is just take a part-time job next year and work with him and support him - not try to kill myself going to grad school. He needs so much support and one-on-one. Then, when I dropped him off at preschool, I didn't want to leave. He wanted to play trucks with the boys, but they didn't want to play with him (I know, every parent probably feels this at some point), and the other teachers were all busy. Noone really had the time or inclination to take him over to the art table to work with his fine motor skills. The cacophony of all of the kids felt too overwhelming for me! I can't imagine how it must feel for Liam. In general, I'm sure this is typical of preschool, but I just feel like he really needs a lot more focused support. I remember when I was in elementary school, I was diagnosed with mild scoliosis. I was supposed to do the backstroke every day - and possibly other OT - my parents took me a few times to a pool to do it. It must have been so hard for them to try to manage this with the four of us. I'm just worried Liam will get lost in my work/study shuffle if I try to do the grad school thang.

I studied most of this week-end. Poor Chris. Sat and Sun nights we stayed up too late once again watching Battlestar Galactica episodes. Saturday night we went to a costume party hosted by parents from K's coop - it was fun. Sunday morning I stuck around to actually spend a little time with the kids and to install some coat hooks - we'll be needing a lot more of those now that winter is almost upon us but then it was back to the books...