i don't like mondays

Usually, I do like Mondays. Sometimes all of the theoretical time avaialable on the week-ends makes me feel like I need to do a million different things. But this past week-end, I actually had time to myself while Chris was in NC with the kids. It was so relaxing to be able to study at home, do some house projects, and of course, strive to be as "productive" as possible - which did include sleeping in til 9am. Yahoo!

But of course, I stayed up late last night with Chris watching an episode of Battlestar Galactica and then up at 5am with the K-train, so I have a splitting headache.

I was worried as I tried desperately to use the hand pump all week-end that my milk supply would run out and that would be the end of breastfeeding. So as soon as I saw the Chris and the kids coming off of the plane (ok, that's an anachronistic term - after 9-11 you can only see people near the baggage claim area) - I intentionally kissed Chris first, then Liam then Kalian - and then grabbed my littlest bundle of joy for a big ama-fest. Fortunately, she latched right on. Chris went to get their bags, and Liam had a ball hooking up the baggage cart to the stroller - it really is all about hooking up.

I just really wanted to try and make our relationship much more sacred (Chris, that is) - and feel like everything is so kid-centered and kid-stressed - and had just witnessed really sad and mean language between parents while waiting for their plane. I worry that we're setting a horrible example for the kids....

I got to the airport early so I wouldn't have to rush, and I needed to read anyway, so I sat by a window at the multi-eatery locale and got a lot more reading done - thanks to the fact that their plane was so late.

It was amazing how much time I had without the kids - I did some very social things - went to Joel's wedding on Saturday night - and cleaned and shopped and studied and slept and did yoga. But I also worried that this week-end is just propping up the setup we have already where thekids rarely get to see me.....When I took Kalian in my arms, she got sad when Chris walked away. This is happening more and more. When I leave in the morning, she's not as concerned, but when Chris leaves, she goes ballistic. And now in the mornings if Chris and Liam get up out of bed, she can't go back to sleep, she cries and wants to get up until she can see them.

Am trying to track down Harvard janitors for my qual research project - as usuall, it's taking awhile - funny reading this qual research methods book and it really seems funny how ridiculous quant methods is for marginalized communities - prisoners, rebel guerillas....

Today in my JC class, the former head of msnbc.com and now the new head of sky.com talked about his history as a journalist. The whole class laughed when he described as a newbie at the local paper (or was it the BBC) and was literally dropped off in a remote village and had to spend the whole day(!) in the village, knock on people's doors and find 4 story ideas - why is this so funny? This is what journalists should be doing all of the time. A half dozen of us tried to ask him how this new online journalism, or lack thereof, was going to affect really good investigative journalism. He never answered it. He mentioned new Telegraph journalistic styles that has reporters filing stories online all day. Where does that leave them time to do real reporting?