Yes, it's a glorious fall

What an incredibly gorgeous week-end that I had to spend an incredibly large amount of time indoors studying.

We had a long four day week-end. On Friday, after my quant review session, I rushed over to meet Liam for his music assembly at preschool - the highlight of my week! I also just love this one-on-one time - but then, despite the quesitonable weather, we went home, had lunch with C and the K-train and then we hopped in the car for a short excursion. I knew I would want to do a lot of work this week-end, and we hadn't yet gone out to see the beautiful fall colors in a more rural setting, so we headed out on route 2. Even just the drive relaxed us both. We then stopped at the Dunn State Park and took an amazing hike around a lake - it was the perfect distance for Liam - and there even was a nice playground area. (Though when we first got out of the car, Liam for the first time I've ever heard him say - that he was cold! and wanted to get back into the car...)

We then headed into the town of Gardner. Chris had pointed out a Boston Globe section on restaurants and inns on this path of leaf glory. A new brew-pub had recently opened and seemed to have organic fare. But when we got there, it was less than impressive - maybe b/c it was new - and I feel like a total snob even writing this - but it was just a sad imitation of a pub - C called it pedestrian - that part I liked in terms of the clientele, but at least we didn't spend a lot of money we don't have. It was cheap and tolerant of the kids' antics, including sweet Liam walking around to each table in our area countless times and asking if they would like dessert, though Chris and I disagreed as to how much we should let him go on (I argued for less...)

On Saturday, I went to study in the early morn and then met Chris for tailgating - yes tailgating for a Harvard football game, of all things. Poor Chris had a stressful time getting the kids out and I wasn't as productive as I wanted to be - so I, of course, felt guilty that I didn't just stay home and help - constant tension between studying and family. But once we got there I think Chris was able to relax enough - at least during the tailgating part - despite having to chase the kids away from the grill. And, naturally, most of the folks there were football lovin' military related dudes....We did meet a cool couple from my program - a guy I hadn't really met who has a one year old and his wife works for the SCC, so Chris could talk shop.

The game itself was a different story. Fortunately, the weather cooperated, and we all didn't need the double layer long johns after all, but it was a lot of work chasing the kids, especially Kalian around the concrete bleachers - the stadium looks like the Roman coliseum - but without the pomp. We endured this chase until half time, thinking they'd enjoy the marching bands, that were only mildly amusing. I was bummed b/c GW came late and we didn't get a chance to really chat much.

The kids were screaming bloody murder when we put them back in the bike trailer for Chris to take them home while I went to go study. The source of the conflict? An empty water bottle. Liam was holding it - Kalian wanted it. I wanted L to share. He wouldn't. I finally took it from him - the result was utter mutiny. So do you force someone to share?

At the library, I ran into SC and she had fortunately just met with one of our quant TAs, so we ended up working on quant the whole afternoon. I knew Chris was burned out, so when I got home (to a nice dinner of homemade pizza), I told him to go out and see a movie or something - which he did. He actually thanked me for doing the dishes when he got home - I love the role reversal. We voraciously watched a battlestar galactica when he got home.

On Sunday, I went to mysore for the first time in forever and then we all went to a co-op brunch potluck. The day couldn't have been more gorgeous. I had a blast playing with the kids at the park, and it was so nice to have a great group of relatively like-minded parents to hang out with, unlike the richie riches from Liam's school. And great homemade food to boot. Played baseball/football combo with Liam, though as usual I felt like I wasn't totally present with him as I tried to take photos, too.

And I had another experience of reacting when someone tried to tell me what to do - a parent asked me if that was my "daughter out there." out there was a baseball field where a presumably dad was throwing a ball to his presumably son who was hitting it. Liam was standing and watching. I heard it as "how could you let your child be so close to that ball." Well, he did say "He could get hurt by that ball. It's going pretty fast." I wasn't too pleasant in whatever reply I made. But the good news was that Liam had a blast as the dad pitched some balls to him and I stood behind him to help him hit.

I then went back to the library, spending the whole afternoon plotting and planning - my two papers, my research setting for my qual class and figuring out my calendar. Well worth it, but as a result didn't feel very productive. Chris took the kids to Peter's bday party - thomas the tank engine pinata and bouncy house. We ate leftovers for dinner(like that should be a problem at all with Chris making such fabulous food), I put the kids to bed and then fell asleep on the couch at 9pm - the earliest I've been to bed in I don't know how long.

This morning I hung out with the kids while Chris went to the gym. I felt somewhat bad about trying to organize my papers and not playing with the kids - and then felt worse when I yelled at Liam for not "listening" to me - a theme recently - I've done worse. I've been experimenting with the natural consequence. The only thing I could think of was the natural consequence of not wanting to play with him or have as much energy for him when he wasn't listening (uh, and following my "orders"?) - of course, as soon as this came out of my mouth, I felt terrible - You will be punished, in other words, by my withholding my love. Can anything be more cruel than the silent treatment?

This morning I was so sad not to go to a fair with the kids - another glorious fall day....