This week in God

I'm taking (I think) a class on "Moral Leadership - Self, Other, Action" taught by some great ol' progressive Jewish dudes who love all things Moses. The first five weeks we're reading about, yes, Moses, and what his narrative says about Hillel's call to action. Every week, we have to write a reflection paper. This is mine from last week. As I'm struggling to figure out what to write for this week, I thought I'd procrastinate and post my paper from last week (can I get another "week" into this graf...)

PAL 127M
Reflection Paper from Feb 5, 2007

Shifting Identity

Last spring I attended a Kennedy School party for accepted students in San Francisco. After I and other prospective students mingled with alumni and administrators, we introduced ourselves. I was transfixed with the myriad of experiences people shared – from international relief work to local environmental activism, as well as influential government and corporate positions. People emphasized the public service required for admissions.

When it was my turn, I blurted out, “I’m a work-at-home mom with two young kids.” I then added, almost as a throw-away, “Oh, and I’ve been a documentary filmmaker….and, um…a community and labor organizer.”

Immediately afterwards, I regretted not presenting a more polished pitch that did not emphasize my maternal skills. I wanted a do-over.

Like Moses moving down that river from one community into another, I was transitioning into an environment that was vastly different from the transformative four years in which I had become Liam and Kalian’s mom. Along the way, I had done some freelance work, but I was mostly immersed in a community of other homebirth Berkeley parents.

A few women faculty at the Kennedy School have advised me not to talk about my kids much because it creates an identity of a mother instead of a professional leader. Does Moses have to reject his Hebrew heritage to be fully embraced by his adopted Egyptian family?

Unlike my decision to attend the Kennedy School or to become a mother, Moses had no choice in his shifting identity from a family of oppressed Jews to the family of an Egyptian oppressor. Nonetheless, I found solace in the profound way the Biblical definition of Moses’ Self affected how he began to deal with Others -- as a identity questioning teenager attempting to step out into the world. And it is this relation to Other that challenges my identity. This is where I confronted my Self at that party, and it is where I am challenged every day as I try to answer the question about what I do.

In fact, I did not mention being a mom during our introductions in class on Monday, as I am still grappling with that part of my identity in a world where mothers face discrimination for raising the world’s children.