I have a wife

Mickey summed it up. I have a wife.

I come home. Dinner is on the table. The shopping and laundry somehow get done, and I get to do work that intellectually fulfills me. No wonder men rule the world. They have the time to do it.

I worry, though, that my naturally controlling tendancies (it's easier to admit this that than to have someone else accuse me of it) are coming out in even uglier ways. Right now I feel so happy and thankful toward Chris for making dinner and taking care of the household management, but I still want to control the things that I'm no longer doing. ..."Only buy organic food"..."So what if she's pooping and peeing on the floor again after being mostly potty trained - I don't want her to lose all of the work we've (read "I've") done so far"..."don't tell Liam not to touch Kalian, just to touch her more gently...." The list is endless. Of course, we've had these issues before, but now I feel so distant from them.

I have a mom friend who works 4 full time days and then spends Friday, Saturday and Sunday home with her kids. I remember her telling me that she spends that long week-end reacquainting herself with her kids and getting to know them again. I heard her but couldn't understand. Until now.

Today, we were eating outside in front of the Paul Revere statue. I had Kalian on my lap, trying to feed her. I then realized I just needed to put her in the stroller to make it easier on both of us. Chris made a comment about how I've forgotten how to do things now that I'm not with them all of the time. It was true and sad. All of those techniques you figure out as a parent - getting both sleepy kids out of the car, juggling making dinner with two hungry kids, etc....are so experiential and even though it's been less than a month, I don't feel like I still have that knack.

Chris had such a rough day on Friday and a few other days during the week that I offered to "give" him Saturday morning off. I think he had a good time going to the gym and then walked out to Harvard Square for coffee and relaxing. I was so happy that he had this time, but I also wasn't quite sure what to do with the kids for four hours. I asked Liam what he wanted to do and he said he wanted to go to the hardware store. In Berkeley, after I picked him up from preschool, I would often drive by Truitt and White lumber yard, so he could watch the forklifts picking up wood, sheetrock, etc. He loved it, and Kalian was always happy to be outside. So I searched online for a lumber yard around here, but then Liam didn't seem to really want to go anywhere. He just wanted to play here at home.

When I was a work-at-home mom, it was hard for me to be home all morning into the early afternoon with especially both kids I'd go stir crazy. Well, I thought, I'm out all day, and Kalian needs to nap, so I'm happy just to stay here and play. But it was also strange not to have the automatic routine or community to go and do something. Yes, I know where a few local parks and the library are, and my kids are always up for a walk up to a cafe, but the amount of energy it takes just to get the kids out of the house just didn't seem worth it. We had a good time, and thank god I have a wife.