Me and the Guys

This morning I had my final quant exam. I left the house an hour early to try and study. My attempts at studying last night at 1369 were not very fruitful. The novelty of studying at a cafe has worn off. It's expensive, inconvenient, loud and last night was very crowded. Yep, the students (i.e. everyone else but me:) are slowly filtering back into Cambridge, and I had to wait 15 minutes just to get a seat.

However, yesterday, Tv helped me study. My assumtions and prejudices about the guys in the Israeli military are slowly shifting, at least with Tv. When he was helping me study, he saw how much of the info I had printed out and was slightly horrified and saddened by all of the trees that had been killed. Then, today, he told me about the open heart surgery he had last year. When he told me it was 9 months ago and knowing that he has a newborn, I made some type of comment about the timing. He blushed and almost giggled in his gruff way when he admitted to trying to procreate right before surgery - just in case anything happened. And when he told me that he was leaving on Thursday afternoon to fly back to Israel to bring his family back (he has a 3 week old and a 2 year old), I said it was too bad he'd miss the final party. He replie d very appropriately, "It wouldn't be very fun without my wife." But then he added that after being married for three years that he's learned what to say. Harumph.

Anyway, I felt very confident after my study session when I walked into the Starr auditorium for our exam. We were taking our exam there because our both of our instructor's sections were taking the exam. When I walked into the auditorium, most of the desk seats were already taken - by men. Granted, it's no surprise that the other section has almost all men, as well, but it felt very intimidating to walk in there. Slowly, a few other women trickled in. I have been noticing that after not having done so hot on the mid-term that I am asking a lot less questions in the class. Is it because I don't feel as up to snuff? Is it a slow, creeping sexism thing? Yesterday, when D was asking questions about game theory and the underlying assumption (yet again) of selfishness, M in her own playful way put D back in her place. In other words, D was left wondering if she should have asked the question at all, and she was clearly bothered by her response. There is a low tolerance for questions, mostly due to the fast pace of the class, but I also wonder if it's the male energy - even coming from a woman instructor. We do all grow up in a world where, as Chris would say sarcastically, "Men rule the world."