date morning

Spring Break is my favorite holiday.

Liam and I had a great time putting together a book after preschool yesterday. His class has a visiting book illustrator, so he came home and immediately wanted to color and paint pictures, and then staple them together and then had me write the text.

Then, this morning, Chris and I were able to have a little date while the kids were a preschool/co-op - it felt so decadent and wonderful to not be exhausted while we have time together. We dropped the kids off and then went to the Harvard gym for a little work out, and then wandered around Cambridge Common and Harvard Square and wound up at a coffee shop before Chris walked home for an interview while I picked up the kidlets. We went out to lunch and are now off for an unknown vacation destination...

why not picasso?

In my fabulous week off with the kids. Yesterday, Chris had the day "off" - he was so sweet - I told him he could come back as late as he wanted to, and he said he missed us and came back early in the evening. Too cute! Liam, Kalian and I went to the library. It was fun until they started chasing each other. I was sitting quietly reading a book with Liam when Kalian egged him on to chase her. She is such the rabble rouser. I wonder where she gets it. Then we headed over to the Stride Rite outlet down the street. Kalian desperately needed new shoes. Of course, all of the "girl" shoes are pink - and the "boy" shoes are hideous. Kalian went for the pink ones, and then Liam wanted to try on some pink shoes. By that time, the kids were tearing up the store and I knew we had to go home to cook dinner, so I told him we didn't have time and there weren't any in his size. What was I doing? Saying? He didn't need new shoes. I know if I had time, I would have let him try them on, but if he needed shoes would I have bought them for him? I want to think it would be fine, but not in this very cruel world. Hmm...shouldn't I be teaching him to stick up for what he wants/believes in?

This morning it was great to take Liam to his OT - I usually don't get to go. Liam starts out doing more active gross motor work, and then she had him put together a "body" with these sticky strings onto the wall. I had never seen him draw or create a person, so I was so impressed with his grasp of the concept. He put a circle for the head, a straight line down below it, and then a line across the middle. The OT asked Liam if those were his arms or legs. Liam pointed to one side and said, "That's his anus and the other end is his penis." You go guy. She wasn't very impressed, and insisted on him being precise. She complained that parents and teachers are often OK with kids being "Picasso" (after I made that remark) and that kids don't learn true represenation and proportion, which is important for their development. I think she has a good point, but I was just so happy that Liam was doing this for the first time. Can't they explore on their own a little first before coloring within the lines?

Spring Break Rocks

Yahoo. I'm slowly feeling better and had a great rockin' time at the Dan Zanes' kids concert. I have so much more fun with the kids when i'm not tired and exhausted. It's such an important lesson for me.

Liam said that I could play the electric guitar because there was a woman in the Dan Zanes band playing guitar - this is why representation and affirmative action is so important!

on my lap with my laptop

We just got back tonight from Chris' cousin's house - a nice family birthday party, where the kids had a lot of fun - but ate way too much sugar, so Liam konked out on the way back. We returned around 6pm, and he was not happy to have to wake up. I didn't do hardly any work this week-end (boy, did I ever need a break), so I was at my laptop trying to get back to the grind. One of the things Liam (and Kalian) likes to do lately is type his name on my laptop - I think it's fun for him, but he also knows I'll cave and hang out with him. After he did this a few times, he was just sitting on my lap cuddling - he usually sits on my lap while he types. Anyway, he said,
"Mommy, will you come play with me? Let's go build!"

"I'm sorry, sweetie, I really have to work tonight."

"But, Mommy, you can bring your computer."

"Uh, oh, that's nice of you to offer, but I don't think that will work."

His brain was really working now.

"But Mommy, we need your computer to look up directions on how to build."

The Flu

Yep, I got it bad - that's why I haven't been posting more...

mommy

I've been musing about why I often befriend older women - younger, too, but I wonder if I really enjoy being nurtured in that way? Mommies need to be mommied.

parent student disconnect

I e-mailed the head of our program about yet another event that is focused on times that are great for single students but suck for parents - cocktail hour. I sent him a very friendly e-mail about how this is really tough for parents with kids. I then said, very lightly, that please don't ask me to initiate more parent friendly events because I'm too busy with my kids to organize it. He sent me back a very frustrating e-mail - asking me to come to his office to talk about it/organize something for families - that's the point - they should have paid staff people doing this. He also mused that he had kids when he was in grad school. Even though Chris is with the kids most of the time, I just didn't like hearing this from a guy, for some reason....

At least in our social networking class we've been talking about this challenge a lot - how student parents don't have as many opportunities to network...

sick of being sick

I'm in a flu blur. I tried going to the clinic in the morning. I could barely get out of bed and was about to pass out just getting dressed. Chris took me to the clinic, but after an hour of waiting, I decided to go to my stats/regression class, but that turned out to be incredibly frustrating. The prof spent 25 minutes (yes I was watching the clock) talking about the rave reviews he got during our mid-semester evaluation and then just made fun of the people who didn't give positive feedback. Why am I suffering to be there, I thought? Fortunately, I wasn't in the frame of mind to calculate how much of our 40k/year tuition was going toward that. After class, I fumbled my way to the Kschool cafe to get some soup since I hadn't eaten anything. I couldn't imagine talking to anyone, so I got it to go and went to walk back over to the clinic. Rats, I had to make small talk with a few people.

One of the sickest days of my life also happened to be one of the coldest in Boston this year. I was so miserable walking the three blocks back to the clinic. It felt like 10 miles. This time, when I walked into reception to sign in again, the receptionist took a look at me and quickly came around to help me go in front of the five other people in line. She rushed me to a room and helped me to lay down. Then, a nurse(?) came in to check my vitals, helped me get my soup, and generally just loved and nurtured me. That's how I felt. I've been having such a tough time keeping up with my schedule and rushing back every day to take care of my kids and then staying up late to work - all with a cold/allergies and now the flu this semester, that I just really needed someone to say, "It's ok to lay down in the middle of the day" (especially when I'm sick, for God's sake). It really just didn't feel ok before then because I just felt like I had so many things to "do." This actually always happened to me when I'm sick - it always feel impossible to "schedule" being sick - there's no time! But when I finally figured out that I could cancel my section and rest and sleep and just catch up later, I felt much better. Letting go of the "should-todos" is so tough....

I always think that when I get sick it's my body's way of saying, "Hello, I tried to tell you to slow down, but you didn't, so now I'm forcing you to."

Good-bye Mommy

This morning as I was getting dressed to leave the house and come to the library, Kalian didn't want me to put my socks on. She cried and tried to pull them away. She knows that when Mommy gets dressed and noone else is, that I will be leaving. "No socks Mommy. No mommy Bye-Bye." As I finally managed to get dressed through the tears - both hers and mine. Liam stood at the doorway to our bedroom and sang over and over again,

Good-bye, Mommy
Good-bye, Mommy
Good-bye, Mommy
We're so sad to see you go.

Wah! Among other things this semester, my yoga practice is really suffering. Sunday mornings have been my one day when I usually try to get to a class, rather than grab a few minutes here or there at the gym. But I am gone so much these few weeks, that I couldn't bare the thought of leaving them, so I practiced at home. It was actually very sweet. I had very low expectations and enjoyed both Kalian underneath me in downdog and Liam on top of me. Midway through, Kalian wanted to breastfeed, so I sat in verasana for a bit and did that. Meanwhile, Liam and Kalian were playing with playdough - Liam had a very innovative cement mixer machine he had improvised using the playdough, so I also paused for awhile to help him lay the foundation for a house, and then while doing uttita hasta padagustasana (standing pose with one leg high in the air), Kalian kept coming over wanting me to take on and off the top of a playdough container. Meanwhile, Chris was in the room experimenting with recording audio for his blog. I loved it! It's amazing what perspective has on such a "lively" yoga practice - it was such a nice, mellow family time, and it's fun for Liam and Kalian to try the poses every once in awhile, too.

Inhale. Exhale.

classy time suck

I love being a teaching fellow for this Harvard undergrad class, but it is such a time drain. Teaching is exhilerating, and I now see how my dad spent so much time with and for his students. It's such a tension - I feel like I have to ask myself - should I spend time with this student if it means not spending time with my own kids and their schoolin'

Well, one upshot, is I learned from one of my students that Harvard doesn't have fraternities but gentlemen's clubs - and I asked him what the difference was. He said, "They're classier."

I am husband

I now get it.

I get why dads tend to rough-house more than moms.
When I get home from school - I'm so exhausted mentally from the day that doing something creative and engaging with the kids is rarely in the realm of possibility. It's so much easier to be physical with them and get that immediate gratification of making them laugh and smile.

I get why dads tend to be good cop and moms bad cop.
Kalian's new phrase is "I don't like Mama Bye-Bye" - oh, tear at my heart strings my little angel. I just feel so guilty from not being around them that I'm finding myself losing my ability to be consistent with our general rules of the house. I'm definitely letting them get away with more now that I don't see them as often.

I get why dads tend to pitch in less with the housework.
When I get home, I just want to spend time with the kids - and then after they're in bed I have so much schoolwork that I barely find time to brush my teeth at night, let alone clean the toilet.

Ok, ok, these are all lame excuses - but, heck, it's for a year - why not turn the tables around? Now, Chris, where is that beer and my slippers?